Creating a Happy Marriage and Loving Relationship (Udemy.com)

Hi and welcome to my course to teach you how to build a great relationship.

For most couples, building a happy and successful relationship is a difficult journey. You’re probably aware that about 50% of marriages end in divorce. Once the glow of romance fades, couples, including those who were once madly in love, experience conflict, disappointment and even despair.

• Some feel the disappointment so deeply that they decide to end the relationship.

• Others pretend that everything is okay but settle for less than they ever desired.

• Others try to sort things out and work through their issues.

We Long for Companionship

And yet, in spite of the challenges of building a happy relationship, it is natural for us to want to find a partner and settle into a life together. We don’t like being alone. We want someone with whom to share our life experiences.

As a matter-of-fact, 96% of people in our society today marry or come together as a couple during their lifetimes. And even among those who divorce, the great majority of them will eventually remarry.

If our desire for companionship is so deep, what goes wrong?

• We lack good role models

• We come into marriage ill-prepared

• We have unrealistic expectations of marriage and our partners

• And we have not learned the tools and skills to build a successful relationship

Vast Research on Happy Marriages

But the good news is that there is a vast body of research on happiness in marriage. We know what happy couples do and these practices can be learned. Here’s one quick example.

Your partner says, “What beautiful sunset.”

You can respond in one of three ways. You can turn towards your partner by saying something like, “Wow, it certainly is beautiful. Look at those pink hues reflecting off the clouds.” You can turn away from your partner by ignoring the comment or responding with indifference. Or you can turn against your partner by making a negative or even argumentative comment. “I don’t see what’s so special about it.” Or, “I can’t get anything done when you continually interrupt me.”

In happy marriages, partners turn towards each other 85% of the time. In unhappy marriages, partners turn away or against about 85% of the time. This means that you can improve your relationship by learning to recognize “bids” to talk and turning towards rather than against or away.

My name is Roger K. Allen. I’m a psychologist and have spent hundreds of hours not only researching best practices of happy and stable relationships but I’ve also counseled with dozens of couples just like you. And, now I’ve gathered the best lessons from my experience as well as a rather vast body of research on marriage and consolidated them into this course on building a happy and stable relationship.

In healthy marriages, partners are there for each other. You’re each accessible, attuned, and responsive to one another’s needs and feelings. This is what this course is about, helping you become more emotionally accessible, attuned and connected.

Take-Aways from the Course

• Understand five stages of marital satisfaction including where you are and next steps in your journey

• How to replace toxic patterns of interaction with actions that build unity

• Greater respect, acceptance and love for your spouse

• Practices to build positive feelings and friendship

• Differences between women and men and how to better meet your spouse’s needs

• Greater responsibility for your own feelings and needs

• How to have more open and vulnerable communication

• Skills to handle disagreements and conflict

• The mindset and communication skills to have a great relationship

• A shared vision of the future. shared vision of the future

Your relationships more than any other factor, define your happiness and the quality of your life. And there is really no relationship that matters more than that with your life partner.

Who is This For?

• Anyone who wants to improve their relationship skills

• Couples who have been together for years

• Couples just getting started

• Couples who have a good relationship but want to go to the next level

• Couples who are struggling

• Singles and dating

• Divorcees

• Counselors and coaches who want to do more work with couples

Two Ways to Do the Program

There are two ways to go through the program. One is as a couple. It’s nice if you talk it over and decide to learn and practice together.

The other is as an individual. It’s common for one or the other spouse to feel a greater desire to improve their relationship and so the other option is to go through it on your own. Not only will you learn a ton but you’ll begin to realize how much one person can do to make your relationship better. As you change, your relationship will change and improve. Your spouse will likely notice and begin mirroring the changes you’re making, whether he or she goes through the program or not.

Course Outline

Section 1: Overview including resources and tips to get the most value from the course.

Section 2: The five stages of marital satisfaction. This is a roadmap to help you understand where you are and how to move forward. I’ll also talk about four toxic patterns of interacting that kill love and prevent you from achieving a loving relationship. And, I introduce the six habits of a healthy relationship. It is these habits that will guide the remainder of our journey.

Section 3: Self-responsibility. It’s hard to be a great partner if you don’t accept responsibility for yourself—your needs, feelings and behavior. We’ll talk about how to be accountable for your own emotional reactions and how to make positive choices when things go wrong.

Section 4: Honor your partner. Your partner is a unique person, distinct from you, someone who has the right to his or her own feelings, needs, thoughts, and choices. This section is about understanding your differences and appreciating your partner, becoming committed to their happiness as well your own.

Section 5: Friendship and unity. You are companions in this journey and the happiest couples nurture each other and know how to have fun together. A number of lessons in this section will include steps you can take to build a more satisfying relationship.